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The
Webmaster hits Jungle Jooce front man Ziggy Van Halo and
other band members with some hard questions,
exclusively
for JungleJooce.com!
(You won't read this in Rolling Stone Mag or Guitar Weekly
!)
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W:
As most Rock bands have notorious drug reputations,
I have to ask- do you do drugs?
Ziggy V.H: You bet. Mainly asprin and eye
drops. We used to do Panadol, but then we found
out they weren't made in Australia...
Diva Las Vegas: After some gigs we do Earl
Grey (or English Breakfast, depends on the hotel)
and pizza
Felix McFunky: I was drinking cola and laughed
so hard it came out my nose... does that mean I've
sniffed coke?
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W: You get to travel. Do you trash hotel rooms like all
good rock stars?
Ziggy V.H: Not trash them as such, we do them up with
mosaic tiles, stripey wallpaper, orange lino, fluffy toilet
seat covers… any 70's décor basically…
Diva LV: Yeah, and when other Rock Bands throw TV's
out the windows, we stand outside and catch them and trade
them for new sound equipment.
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W:
Who are your favourite TV stars?
Ziggy V.H: Starsky and Hutch
Diva LV: Wonder Woman
W: Those weren't the stars' names, they were
the stage names…
Ziggy V.H: You're right…what kind of idiot
goes around using their stage name all the time…
W: So, Ziggy... what inspired you to play guitar?
Ziggy V.H: Seeing David Cassidy play on Countdown.
I just wanted to be like him. I would have been
as pretty as him too if it wasn't for my slightly
above average amount of bodily hair.
W:
What gives you the most satisfaction as a performer?
Ziggy V.H: Wearing flares. No, the afro...
Diva LV: I think I could one day run for
Prime Minister and help all the homeless children,
and hopefully do something about all the hungry
people in poor countries. Um, sorry… what was
the question?
W: Never mind. Name your most embarrassing moment?
Ziggy V.H: Sheesh, where do I start... it
was probably when I was serenading at a birthday
show, singing a Barry White love ballad right
up close to the birthday girl. Nobody told me
that I had a huge booger hanging out of my nose...
Diva LV: Yeah, so then he started singing
"Blame It On The Booger" (laughs
repeatedly)
Ziggy V.H: What the... Diva, I did not.
Man, that wasn't even funny.
Diva LV: Sorry.
Felix McFunky: Well, there's your
most embarrassing moment right there...
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W:
I suppose you have memories of being a young
budding muso jamming in the garage?
Ziggy V.H: (Laughs) Yeah,
one night I played so loud my neighbour's
ears started bleeding (Keeps laughing for
an annoyingly long time)
W:
I can't believe your neighbour's ears bled but
yours didn't...
Ziggy V.H: Eh?
Speak up...
W:
I SAID, HOW COME YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S EARS BLED
AND YOUR'S DIDN'T
Ziggy V.H: ...appeared
on Neighbours? No, not me... you have the wrong
rock star
Diva LV: Human Nature did, but
I'd hardly call them Rock Stars (Looks disgusted)
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W: We're digressing. Who do you think are the
most underrated band ever?
Ziggy V.H: Bay
City Rollers
Diva LV: If I answer that I may upset people...
I hate upsetting people. I think people are the
most important thing in life... the best thing
anyone can ever have is compassion for their fellow
human being.. um, what was the question...?
W:
I forget. Do you think that notoriety and Rockstardom
go hand in hand?
Felix McFunky: Most definitely, man. Speaking
of which, did you know that Britney Spears is
my love-child?
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W:
Really??
Felix McFunky: Um..
yeah, really...(shuffles uncomfortably)
W: Do you have any proof?
Felix McFunky: Yeah!
You know those recent pictures of her in the
mega-low hipster jeans that barely covered
her... well, barely covered her? (laughs)
I used to be a typical Italian bricklayer,
you know, with my male cleavage hanging out
the back of my pants. She got that off her
old man, for sure. If that ain't proof...
W: Still on the subject of notoriety...Diva
Las Vegas, any comments on those controversial
photos of you, whilst presenting the Logie
awards, with an exposed nipple?
Diva LV: No
way that was a nipple! That was a typical
media beat-up. I just had a strawberry cream
lolly in my top pocket. As if...
Felix McFunky: I thought it tasted
funny...
Ziggy V.H: (angrily) What have
I told you guys about relationships within
the band???!
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W:
Enough of this contentious stuff. Junglejooce
aren't just retro, they certainly give todays
songs an extra energy which seems absent in the
original versions. Do you enjoy performing current
material?
Ziggy V.H: You
bet, and not just performing. I was front row
at the first Bardot concert, man, they
rock. I went crowd surfing but unfortunately the
13 year-olds collapsed under the weight of my
hair.
Diva LV: You only got in the front row
by accident! You were just at the shopping centre
to buy wigs... |
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W:
Have you gained as much recognition for your
modern material as for the retro stuff?
Ziggy V.H: Sure.
Remember the concert at Wembley? Kylie was in
the front row. She wanted to meet us backstage
but our bouncers wouldn't let her in, for some
reason.
Felix McFunky: That's
because they quiz anyone trying to get backstage,
you know, do they like Led Zeppelin, the Quo.
If the answer's "no", or "who
are they?" the boys kick 'em out.
Ziggy
V.H: Yeah.
Eventually she got in and was chatting to us
for at least twenty minutes. Then we took the
plum out of her mouth and we understood what
she was saying (Laughs)
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W:
Kylie eh? Some influence on your dance moves perhaps?
Diva LV: Influence? No way, we set the standard. Remember
when John Travolta jumped on stage and
started
struttin' with Ziggy during The Wanna Be Gees? A year
later he did the same moves on Pulp Fiction.
W: Fabio and Glitterace have joined us. Fabio, I hear
you are on the same diet as Geri Haliwell, is this true?
Fabio: Yeah.
See my six-pack? (raises his shirt)
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W:
No, not really
Ziggy V.H: Um, no
Diva LV: No
Felix McF: No
W:
Poor Fabio. Glitterace, I hear you have worked
with Madonna, can you elaborate?
Glitterace:
You
know her recent film clip that got banned in the
'States, where she speeds dangerously through
the streets in a Chev and robs people?
W:
You played keyboards for that song?
Glitterace: No,
I did the stunt driving.
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W:
Diva Las Vegas, you can certainly drive the male
members of the audience wild. Have you ever considered,
like many big stars, enhancing your appearance
through surgery?
Diva LV: I
did consider it at one stage, but I'm good mates
with J. Lo and she told me her plastic surgery
horror story.
W: Jennifer Lopez? What happened?
Diva LV: Well,
you know, she went in for a cheek enhancement
but they enhanced the wrong cheeks.
W:
Okay, that looks like all we have time for. In
closing, is there anything you'd like to say to
all your fans out there in Web-land?
Diva LV:
Oh,
I just love you all. Well, I would if I had the
time...
Ziggy V.H: Don't
do drugs unless they're prescribed by a doctor...
or our roadie.
Fabio: When
does the interview start?...
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Glitterace:
Drive safely. Only run red lights if you're running
late for a JJ gig, or filming something...
Felix McF: Don't
blame Britney for her music. She just wanted to be
a star like her old man.
W:Jungle Jooce, thank you very much for your time.
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